Hypocritical Hyperbole

The Abomination of Obama's Nation

On Cedric Benson: Racism still super dead. June 30, 2010

You’re reading the story wrong. That’s just all there is to it. I appreciate that you live in a world where the cops are all honest guys doing an honest days work to keep you safe, and that may actually be true where you are.  But that isn’t true here. There’s something you have to think about. There’s a world out there that you just simply don’t understand, and you never will. It’s not your fault, it’s just a part of life.

Whenever you see stories about how these athletes deal with the police one HUGE elephant lives in the room. We’re talking about young black men and police. That history isn’t so good. I’m not going to talk a lot about Cincinatti, but that city is known for it’s police killing a lot of black men. So the Bengal’s crime troubles run a lot deeper than a bunch of stupid niggers getting in trouble. That’s too easy, and it’s lazy.

So on to Ceddy B. That arrest where he was on the boat.  That’s bullshit and if you read any of the facts  you’ll know that straight away. What we have is a guy on a boat. The cops come and talk to him.  At least four of them walk him off around a corner so he’s removed from the sight of the people who were with them. All of a sudden he decides to attack the cops? You can’t believe that and have a brain. Naw. That was a case of a good old fashioned nigger beating. So much so, in fact, that one of the people on the boat called her father (who was a big time lawyer) to figure out how to get Cedric out of that situation. How many articles did you read pointing that out? Lazy ass journalists just giving you the easy story.

Now this most recent incident. The Austin police (who are notoriously racist. check the youtubes sometime) are called in on a bar fight. They wait OVER A MONTH to call up Cedric and have him fly back to Austin? How many bar fights are there every night? How many times have you ever heard of someone getting arrested months after it happened when no one was injured or killed? Never. Because it doesn’t happen. What we had was a bunch of white kids pickin on poor Cedric (facts, look at ’em) and when bad shit goes down the Austin cops waste over a month of tax payer dollars to investigate this. What do they find? That they need to call in Cedric Benson so they can arrest him long after the fact. Because during that time no other bar fights had occurred in that Small Texas college town. Give me a break.

Now I know that the race card makes people bristle. That’s because they don’t want to believe they live int he real world.  They live in a fantasy world where people don’t have biases and prejudices against other people. Sorry to break it to you, people suck. If you stop taking the easy way out and look at some of the situations that go on in this country you’ll see how royally jacked up it all is.

Racism exists.  Just because the cross burning thing has died down doesn’t mean those feelings and sentiments are gone. You think in the space of 50 years everything people believed has just up and gone away? No sir, it has just changed forms. Now they institutionalize it. The people who never ever have to deal with it love saying how my people only use it as an excuse just so you can make yourselves feel better about whatever issues you have going on in your life. That’s just more willful ignorance.


Adios NFL June 25, 2010

Filed under: Sports,Uncategorized — Micah Griffin @ 23:05
Tags: , , , , ,

I acknowledge this is easy to write now in the beginning of summer where the streets aren’t filled with hooligans doing the football stuff everywhere, but it’s on my mind now, so now I write it.

I think I’m done with the NFL, and it really has nothing to do with the product on the field. That stuff I’m actually pretty cool with. It’s by no means my favorite sport to watch, easily trailing Basketball and slightly behind hockey, but I like it. The problem is everything surrounding the league. There are tonnes and tonnes of issues that really aren’t ever looked at in depth. I’d love to do it now, but that would require lots of research and well over two thousand words. Instead, I’ll just run some stuff off the top of my head. I’m using Albert Haynesworth’s situation now to exemplify all the problems I have with the NFL.

The very first and most important part is how it’s covered. The way the media treats the NFL is ridiculous. I don’t understand how people can be so into it. That’s neither here nor there. The thing is how they cover the players. It’s just unconscionable.

The current news is that Albert Haynesworth doesn’t want to play for the redskins because they changed the terms he’d be working under. I don’t know how anyone finds this to be unreasonable. He was hired under the pretense that he’d be used in a certain position, he did that and was paid for it. Now they want to change his position to a more dangerous one and he wants no part of it.  If you at all keep up with sports  news you know that this is not how it’s being reported. Instead everyone is saying how this fat guy is getting paid so much money and should just shut up and go to work.

I’m glad none of them have ever had issues with their bosses. On a seperate note for a second, only in sports, and really only in sports where you see black people making F-350 super duty truck loads of money do you hear about common folks taking up for the ownership against the workforce. How cool would you be if your boss came in and told you that you’d have to work a position that’s going to put you in a lot more physical risk when you specifically said that as a condition of your hire that you wouldn’t do that.

I get that Albert never got it in writing, but when did it become okay for folks to  lie to you and then get defended for it? So you have all these writers writing about how awful it is that Albert isn’t showing up to these crappy summer “Organized Team Activities.” The report is that this fat millionaire isn’t showing up to an off season activity he really has no need to show up to. Did I mention how much money he makes? No, I didn’t, because that is not relevant information in any way. Know who makes fifty times more than he does? Dan Snyder the guy who owns the team and is in no way being held to the standards that the media is holding Haynesworth to.

The biggest problem with the media that covers the NFL is that they are employees of the NFL. The sport is so big that they take the stories the league gives them. The league serves up certain players or stories to reporters so they get blowed up real good. You may not remember, but last year Jay Cutler did the same thing Haynesworth did, but to a slightly different effect. Yes, he was was criticized a bit, but not with the vigor or passion we see now. The only differences are that Albert makes more money and is a fat black guy as opposed to super smart Jay Cutler that went to Vanderbilt and is white.

There’s a casts system with NFL people as well. If you didn’t play or coach in the league don’t even try to talk to someone who did. They go hard on this “You don’t know you didn’t play, stuff.” So when you watch T.V. what you get are a bunch of people who’s lives were significantly changed by this system and are going to do what they can to  tote company line. “Protect The Shield” is an actual thing with these guys. Ownership can’t do anything wrong on a serious level.

The next thing is stupid fans. With the sport being as popular as it is the number of casual fans that think they know anything about the sport is huge. The smaller the sport (in general) the more knowledgeable the fans are about it. Football fans actually don’t understand much of the sport, how it works, or how hard any of it is. They think they do, but they really don’t have a clue at all. What’s crazy is that the fans have also drunk the flavor-aid on the notion that if you didn’t coach in the league you can’t possibly tell them anything. Fans don’t have a clue what Jaws and Gruden are saying to each other during Monday Night Football games, but it sounds footbally so they’ll go for it. I can point out as well as they can that Jake DelHomme loves tossing balls way up in the sky and hoping his receivers catch it. What I don’t have is the years of football experience to say it in footbally terms.

What that does effectively is remove outside sources from the equation. If you come in to try and make a point about the league that just doesn’t make sense in reality they’ll be quick to get all over that “former general manager X said ‘this is just the way it goes’ so you can’t possibly be right.” The fans are also ridiculously arrogant, but the way I have to imagine baseball fans were back in the 60s and 70s. Easy to walk with that strut when your favorite sport is the most popular in the country and no one (seriously NO ONE) is even close to being in second.

One of the biggest reasons for that success is that the NFL has done just about everything in their power to CRUSH the personality of these players. No dancing, no celebrating, can’t say anything about anything (unless it helps the league that is). What?  Yeah, all the players making less than Haynseworth sippin on Jellycycles can hate like crazy, but let one of them criticize how the NFL runs game and watch that player get ostracized.

This is a sport where you can’t see the players while they’re on the field. They’re all covered head to toe. Shoes, socks (that have to be a certain height or you get fined), pads all over the shirt and pants, and that helmet that covers the face. As long as you look on the field you can forget that it’s a bunch of young black kids out there dancing for your entertainment. The second they do anything to remind you of that the league fines them, and if it’s enough the commissioner calls them into the principles office. I’ve said it before, but one of the reasons I LOVE basketball is because of how human that sport it. No sport more human, soccer is like a more boring European cousin. They can’t hid anything. Their tattoos, their facial expressions (except my boy perk who just doesn’t have the ability to smile), nothing. The body language is all out there for everyone to see. In football they all look exactly the same from the nosebleeds. Just a bunch of nameless faceless logos out there running around.

I have totally lost my train of thought, so I’ll come correct with part two tomorrow when I get back on track. I hope. Maybe not though. This could be it. So if it is, in conclusion. I’m just not going to be watching a lot of football next season (college or pro) and I needed something write about. I’m going to try this whole write every day thing out and see how that works.


NFL Week 2: A list in list form September 23, 2009

1. Jets – I love trash talkers. I don’t think they’re the best team in the league, but I love it when NFL guys are obnoxious. No Fun League indeed. Keep me interested and entertained is all I ask.

Ravens – What’s to say? Stop calling him Ray Ray. That’s what I have to say. Seriously? Grown men, professional journalist, radio hosts that claim to have some sort of integrity and dignity calling another man Ray Ray? The same man they called murderer and liar years back? Sport writers/talkers have always been ridiculous, but this just crosses a line.

Giants – Theys has defense. I hate Brandon Jacobs for all the years I owned him in fantasy (especially last years stunt where he didn’t even dress though he was stated as probable or questionable.) but you can’t argue with fact. Actually, that’s the premise of what I do here. Jacobs is lame.

Falcons- Matty Ice isn’t as good as people say he is, but that doesn’t mean he’s awful. Be on the lookout though, that Michael Turner guy is going to fall apart, and Norwood won’t be around to back him up they way they want.

Saints – WHO NEEDS DEFENSE? Not the saints, that’s who. Have you heard this a billion times before? Yup. Do I ever have fresh and interesting perspectives for you? nope. Guys, Drew Brees is four feet tall, but he’s a leader of men. He just gets those guys going.

Colts – This is another team set up for a big fall, but somehow they keep winning. I don’t trust ’em. Peyton looses one offensive lineman and the whole season blows up.

Vikings – This is going to be the best team in the league for about nine weeks until they blow the $#(* up. Yes, all the way the #(*&% up. Don’t worry, Tavaris Jackson is there to save you.

49ers – I WANT WINNERS! I WANT PEOPLE THAT WANNA WIN! (why write when it’s been written for you.

Broncos – Bring back the neckbeard. (Can you tell I’m already tired of writing these?)

Steelers – I wish Mike Tomlin was my uncle or something. He’s not as cool as my dad, but he’s a pretty cool guy. The way he chews that gum! Dreamy. Big problem though. That o-line is terrible. If Tom Brady was back there this team would go 8-8. Thankfully #7Ben R. (spellcheck doesn’t have a suggestion) is back there instead of that Brady guy.

Bengals- If this team had a good QB they’d be unstoppable. I’m not joking. They’re going to be good. Really really good. For the first time EVER Marvin Lewis has a defense to work with. Hard for a defensive coach to win when all the money is on a terrible offense, the owner brings in knuckleheads, and truth be told you’re really not as good a coach as you thought you were four years ago.

Patriots – Tom Brady sucks. Okay, that’s factually incorrect. Tom Brady is not the best QB ever. Better. But even if he was; his knee went the wrong way. All the way the wrong way. You don’t just hop back from that. This team still has no defense, and lost it’s best player for a spell. And you really trust “fragile freddy.” Once again. We’re grown men and call this guy out like we’re in middle school.

Bears- Greatest QB in bears  history? uh no. Not even close. He’s really not that good. He had a great head coach, great receivers, the best o-line system ever, the second best o-line in the league behind the Patriots. I mean, sheesh.

Texans- I drafted Matt Schaub. I’m not talking about this team anymore.

Packers- I’m surprised you’re still reading this. Like I actually watched all these games, let alone broke them all down. I’m not doing film study on Packers-Bengals. Boooooring. I’ll say this. . . about that. I’m all over the Bengals. I picked them to hit the playoffs this year. So this loss, it happens. It’s week two.

Bills- What a terrible fan base of thugs and hoolagins. Burning nunbers in lawns. Stealing more jewelry from a house than my estate is worth. Being in a cold city. That’s the worst crime. I’ve spent plenty of time in buffalo (about a total of four days). SCREW THAT! GET OUT! GET OUT! You can move somewhere warmer!

Chargers – L.T. is gawn and that sproles guy isn’ t big enough. He’s awesome, bu t not as a feature back. Who’s his backup. The longer L.T. is out the sooner we’ll find out what his name is.

Cowboys- If Tony Romo was {insert you know exactly what here} we’d me massacring him today. Seriously. Talk about overrated guy who hasn’t reached potential. Inaccuracy (not as bad as my boy JR) chokes in the big moment, looks like a goofball. He does stupid stuff.

Eagles – No donvan, I’m not excited. Let’s not forget before {DOG KILLER} comes back that he was IN JAIL for two years. He’s not good. He’s fat and out of shape. He needs to work himself back in. Look for him and K Kolb to light the @#$ out of the Cheifs.  That team sucks.

Raiders – This team sucks. Jamarcus would be better if he had a better team arond him or if he had a decent coach, but daaaaaamn. 35%. Even I can’t defend that. Maybe it was higher or lower, I hate looking up stats. Still, not good.

Seahawks  – SENECA WALLACE! OH YEAH BOI! Like you didn’t see this coming? Especially when Timmy said “I need my brother to get hurt cause I’m playing against him in fantasy this week.” Seriously, bra. You just don’t ever say that.

Cardinals – Kurt Warner can only last so long, right? Right?

Redskins – Worst 1-1 team easily. My boy Jason Campbell needs a receiver in a serious way. What happened to Clinton Portis? OH THAT’S RIGHT! He’s on my fantasy team.

Panthers – Jake Delhomme is better, but that Run defense. Oh man. I want to support this team. I live here, I’m a fan. But Hera help up. My goodness.

Dolphins- You just don’t loose if you run the ball this well.

Buccaneers – This team is terrible, the only reasn they aren’t lower is because I’m too lazy to highlight and drag it down. They are baaaaad. I hope morris can keep his job long enough to try and turn it around. Good luck though.


Chiefs – MEGA. . wait no. This team is awful. Where is your savior now? His leg hurts? yeah, you’ll have that. Yeah, he did great for me in fantasy last year, but we all knew it was fluky.

Titans – This is one of the best tackling teams in the NFL. THE BEST. Problem is they can’t get to players to tackle them. Receivers run straight past ’em. Hard to tackle a guy you can’t touch.

Jaguars – Team is unholy. Bad bad bad bad bad. BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD. Bad bad. 2-14? Yeah.

Browns – It’s the %@(*&% Mangenius. Is that how it’s spelled? Mangenius? How smart do you have to be to get crushed all year long? Pretty durn smart.

32. Rams – See what I said about the jags? Yeah, just duplicate it here. Stephen Jackson is great, but for how long? Like he isn’t going to get hurt?


No Neckbeard No Touchdown August 30, 2009

It’s arguable that Kyle Orton is one of the most mediocre QBs in the history of the position. I’m even allowing, for this argument only, the inclusion of pre 1960s football and the guys that weren’t allowed to throw it forward. Yeah, Kyle’s mediocrity surpasses even those guys. But at least for a time he had style. Making at least a million or so dollars a year (no, I’m not going to look up player salaries from a year ago. I just don’t care) he could easily have afforded his own personal barber. Instead, he grew out a neckbeard. It was one of the most insane things you’ve ever seen. At first I decried the idea, but it became at thing. It separated him from the increasingly large list of quarterbacks  no one knows exists. And it isn’t like he was playing on a team with a grand history of star qbs. Do you know who played the position before during and after Orton? Well, we know who’s playing now, but I doubt you remember Rex Grossman, or the guy who was there before Kyle. I sure as heck don’t, and though I’m sure you’re smarter than me (not a compliment really) I’m putting hard earned money on you not knowing it either.

Fact is, that neck beard was a trademark. So much so that blogs sprouted up around it. There were entire blogs dedicated to this

BREAK: Gosh, I hate when Jay Cutler tries to be awesome and throws off no feet falling backwards. This isn’t effing basketball, dude. There are no fadeaways here. No pretty rainbows. Throw the ball to the receiver, or get it the heck out of there. Seriously, keep that junk on the practice field.

Also, what is that move defenders do when they make a big play and put their hands up palms outward away from their heads? Looks dumb.

Back To Action

I’ve forgotten why I was writing this. OH YEAH. Not only was the neck beard a calling card, there’s a long history of winning Quarterbacks that had them. . . .Really I can only think of Jake Plummer. Not quite the pedigree I was hoping for. Regardless. Did you really think that cleaning the scruff off of your neck would make you better? It’s not much warmer in Denver than it was in Chicago. I sincerely hope this doesn’t effect your play. It seems that it is though. Granted,  it’s only preseason, you’ve sucked. Yeah, this has become an open letter to my buddy K.O. to grow the thing back. What can it hurt? Are you really reeling in more honeys without it? I doubt it. Are you playing better without it? Heck to the naw. You get to the red zone and your whole world falls apart. And it’s clearly the result of the lack of hair on your neck. There is no other explanation.

Oh, and seriously. You don’t want to look anything like your stupid head coach. This guy is like what? two years older than you? Looks like a baby. Show him how much more of a man you are than him. He thinks he’s a genius, you put him in his place. You’re the star of the team now. Especially with crazy crazy Brandon Marshall being out of his gourd.


Baton Down the Hatches? August 22, 2009

Noooo, that’s not right. It’s batten. Point still stands! Post every day? Redouble my efforts in this weird online space to build readership and improve my writing style? Find things to actually talk about on a daily basis?

We all know it’s not going to happen. I hate blogging, for that matter I hate blogs and the internet at large. The whole thing sucks. Except when it comes to getting me free stuff, like the entire clone saga, all of the old Secret Origins, and some neat 90s crossovers. There should be a way for me to telepathically dictate this thing out so there’s content on a regular basis. Even if that was the case I don’t know what on earth people would find interesting.

Met me tell you ’bout my life. I spent five minutes with that cool tape you use for dryer vents trying to stick my RF cable to my window so I can have semi-decent reception for a Panther’s preseason game. Yup.  I had made plans to go to a bar and watch it, but people all suddenly had a severe case of immediate dirty hair syndrome that needed to be corrected in the very serious here and now. No biggie, gave me time to clean my house. The whole thing. Well, not the walls that’s a major project for later. Both my tubs, my floors, all three sinks, the two toilets, the porch, the trash can (yeah cleaned the trash can), the cabinets under the sinks, the dining room table, the lemonade table (I don’t drink coffee), and the tires on my bike. Why? My bike gets hella jealous if I don’t take care of it. I don’t think I can ever get a roommate with it around. If I put it out on the porch it’ll get rusty and try to kill me, I’m not putting it in my room, that’s for my books, the second bedroom is where it’s at now. Just chllin’ with an old monitor, an 11″ tv, and a bunch of old video games I don’t play because my xbox broke and I am too lazy to hook the ps2 up to anything.

How would you baton down a hatch? The US Team For Running Fast found a way to hack up a baton. Guy’s, it’s not that hard. I see seven year olds do it all the time. One guy is running, the other guy starts running, and the first guy gives the baton to the second guy. Done. End of story. You win the race, get the fly honeys and bask in Bolt’s shadow. Pretend it’s your penis you’re grabbing and if you bobble it or get it out of the zone you’ll lose it. How about that? Bet you guys wouldn’t drop it then would you?

See, this is a terrible posting, I could’ve taken all these ideas and expanded upon them, split them up, and had postings for three or four days. Good longs ones, but I just lack focus and dedication to the craft. I have some awkward first world malaise or something. Dang it, have to go fix my television signal.