Hypocritical Hyperbole

The Abomination of Obama's Nation

Father’s Day (The Remix) June 17, 2012

Filed under: Social Justice — Micah Griffin @ 14:58
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This is where I said the same thing I just said, but with slightly different words. Seriously.

Look, I know every single one of you had the single worst father of all time.

I DIDN’T. I will not take part in this national “all father’s suck” campaign. My dad isn’t an idiot. He hasn’t spent his entire life running away from the responsibility of raising children. He doesn’t go into any of your stupid gender tropes about dad’s not having any clue how anything works. My dad is just a regular black guy trying to do the best he can by his family while navigating this incredibly fucked up and racist society telling him how he has no particular value or worth to society. He’s told that he’s responsible for all the mythical wellfare queens and high poverty rates, and kids dropping out of high school and selling drugs, and increased rate of gangs, and putting kids in prison. We know all of this is bullshit, but it doesn’t stop people from telling him that. And through all of it, he manages to find it in himself to do some good. He’s never once done a single thing to harm me or any of his children. He’s not perfect, or even doing the best he possibly could, but he tries hard. Sometimes society gets him down and it’s hard for him, but that never stops him from crushing his duties out of the park when he’s called on. Shit, he’s a father to kids that aren’t even his. I went by the house a few days ago and there were like twelve kids in there and he was handling all of them. This isn’t even a slightly uncommon occurrence.

I’m not saying you have to celebrate your dad. I know he was awful, but that was your dad. Not mine. You don’t have the right to say that mine was a piece of shit or was worthless. You don’t have the right to say that if I choose to say nice thing about him or celebrate how awesome he is every day of the year that I’m somehow doing something wrong and inappropriate. Am I combative about this? Damn right I am. That’s only because I have to listen to so many people all year long tell me about how the entire concept of dads are stupid like no one has ever had a good father, and especially not a good black one. You can hate your father all you like. You can hate father’s day. I hate father’s day. I hate mother’s day too. I hate all of those stupid false celebratory holidays. Making it socially obligatory to give props to someone who hasn’t done anything for you doesn’t make any sense (why I don’t celebrate the 4th of july either, or president’s day, or columbus day, or really, any american holidays outside of MLKjr day and Juneteenth. Cause they’re all about how cool white people who had slaves and killed native Americans were).

The only thing all this hang ringing over father’s day does is cement the idea further that dude parents aren’t any good. When you grow up hearing that father’s are, at the best, goofballs who are stupid and aren’t good at anything but being tough and putting holes in walls or at worst, violent child molesting serial killers, it doesn’t give you a lot to look up to. When you add race in the mix it only gets worse. Society is constantly telling me I can’t look up to my father because black men as a whole are worthless. So my celebrating of my father is an active act of rebellion against society constantly saying he isn’t any good.

What I hate more than that, is you saying that me choosing to buy my dad lunch today from some crappy fast food restaurant cause it’s all we can actually afford is something that shouldn’t happen. Cause that’s dumb.


One More Father’s Day Post

Filed under: Social Commentary — Micah Griffin @ 14:30
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Every Year I write something about father’s day somewhere. Usually what the entire post boils down to is that my dad is great and you can suck on biscuits. There is also something about how the holiday is dumb, how the tone of the marketing is so fucked up, how you aren’t obligated to love your dad but don’t dare come at me projecting daddy issues on me, cause I ain’t got em.

Really. I say this all the time. This time I’m addressing all of you idiots out here making broad sweeping generalizations about black fatherhood. Is my dad perfect? Nope. Is my dad even the best he could be? Not even close. But does he try hard? Absolutely. And really, I can’t ask more. He’s a black going so far out of his way to do what he can for his kids it kills him sometimes. Seriously. Sometimes literally wrecks himself trying to make sure all of us are okay. This doesn’t mean he makes all the right decision, or even that he’s a good person. Now, I think he is a good person, but that is actually a separate issue from whether or not he’s a good dad.

I hate how father’s day is a national excuse for everyone to look at black men and talk about how fucked up they are. It’s a day where everyone gets the green light to shit on black people. What’s doubly frustrating is how many black people line up to join the party. The idea of the absentee black father is used to help perpetuate so many other myths about black people, and yet so few people fight against it. It gets worse the longer the war on drugs goes on, the more school funding gets cut, the farther gentrification goes on, the bigger private prisons get, the more police brutatilty goes unchecked and the more our society decides to pretend  like racism doesn’t exist anymore. This goes hand in hand with welfare queen myths and the idea that gangs are raising black kids to be violent monsters from the time they pop out their crack head moms. It’s all related, and talking shit about black dudes is not helping even in the slightest.

Yeah, I know your dad wasn’t any good, and I’m not telling you to celebrate him. What I’m saying is that your continual anti-father stance is bullshit and fucked up. This continual narrative of how terrible all these guys are needs to stop. Know what? Black men don’t need to stand up and take accountability. They’re doing that. The world is littered with black fathers doing big things.

I don’t celebrate father’s day because I appreciate my dad all the time. I spend a lot of my time talking about how great he is and good a job he does, because he is a reflection on all black fathers. Anything that happens  in my life can be tied back to my parents. All the things I do end up reflecting on whether or not my dad taught me to be a good enough man or not. It all reflects on whether or not he set a good enough example for me.

So yes, I do resent your jokes about black men not being good fathers. I resent you painting my father as some sort of plague on society. I’m tired of him not getting the credit for the job he’s done despite the circumstance. I’m sorry yours wasn’t as good, but I won’t let you drag mine down. He’s had to work too hard to let you say anything about him being worthless. He’s done too many good things for my life for me to not, at least, write this rebuttal to all the stupid articles saying how he needs to do more. Why can’t he be the face of black fatherhood instead of whatever bullshit image you try to pull up? Why not any of my three living grandfather’s who have had to struggle through so much garbage this stupid country threw and continues to throw at them to be the men they are?

Sure your ain’t shit dad may be a problem, but it’s a systematic problem that can’t even begin to be fixed until we handle some larger societal problems first. Know what isn’t helping to fix any of those problems. You consistently talking shit about black fathers and the state of black fatherhood. So sincerely, on behalf of the millions of black fathers out here just thoroughly kicking ass, shut the fuck up. I just don’t want to hear anything from you right now.