Yeah, the problem with Valentine’s day is the selling of it. It’s the culture around the day. It sets the expectation that any other time you do something good isn’t worth it. You aren’t doing your job in a relationship if you do something every other day of the year but don’t go out of your way to be awesome on this day then you’re a failure as a boyfriend. It’s everyone asking what I’m doing for my girlfriend and the complete and total disgust on their face and disdain in their voice when I tell them nothing because it’s an insignificant holiday to me. I hate the value judgement our society makes on me as a human because of my choices.
I hate the commercials. Those jewelry commercials are all terrible. The whole set up where you can judge how much a woman is worth based on the pieces of jewelry she gets and how women are supposed to be in competition with each other based on this is awful. The thing where the valentine’s transaction is bling for sex is ridiculous. No I don’t have a problem with prostitution, this isn’t that argument. The argument is the obligatory nature of the transaction. The commercials are explicitly saying “Buy diamonds, get sex” It’s a mess. Same goes for chocolate. Same goes for flowers.
That’s all bad, but as stated earlier, the worst part of valentine’s day (and the weeks leading up to it) is dealing with other humans. I’ve been harassed by complete strangers in lines at stores about how I don’t do anything for that day. I got reprimanded for cursing out a coworker a year back because he asked what I was doing to get some pussy that day. I got in trouble because “don’t fucking talk to me that way” is more offensive than what he said. Then I had to deal with people all day coming to me asking about why I’m such a fucking grinch and why I’m so selfish. (note: I’m single at the time) People were telling me I should just go find some random woman to take out and get some because single women are all going to be unanimously sad and depressed about not getting their womanly need for mindless affection met and will just swoop in on me like a vulture to Mike Collins. This is all accepted while my choice to not participate in this particular cultural event is met with scorn.
I have countless stories about being spit on or ridiculed or having water thrown at me, not for being rude or offensive, but simply by saying I found Valentine’s day to be a pinch absurd and had no plans to ever engage myself in it.
Look, I don’t care if people do Valentine’s day. It doesn’t change my life if you are a terrible significant other (what an awful term) all year long and only do something good on Valentine’s day and your partner thinks you’re great for that. That’s fine. I’m fine if you go out and buy diamonds and happen to have sex as long as there isn’t coercion involved. The thing is, I simply don’t care about what other people choose to do with their lives. I just hate it when they come judging me in my face for not doing the same stupid stuff they do. Get out of here with that.
On the bright side, there’s this.