Hypocritical Hyperbole

The Abomination of Obama's Nation

Revamping Truth, Justice, and Where Your Underwear Is June 21, 2011

This is the last one, and since there aren’t many titles I’ll crank this one out tonight as well. This is the last of these wretched things. It’s been a good experiment for me as far as posting stuff on an almost regular basis, but let’s face it. I’m the only one reading this. Which is fine, because I’m really just seeing how fast I can write a bunch of words at once.

Superman

I loved loved Grant Morrison’s All-Star Superman. I love the cover of this book. I love the ridiculous jeans Supes has on as well as the baby sized cape. I love that he’s holding up a giant shoe on the cover. Tell me that isn’t a giant shoe. That said, I don’t have any expectation that Superman will be as silver agey awesome as All-Star was. They’re not going to let Grant bring back that giant monkey he use to fight or give him sons, or read a phone book and memorize every name in it.

I’ll pick up the first trade of this for sure.

Action Comics

I really think the cover of this looks like Superboy Prime and I cannot say why that is. No biggie though. I can’t say why, but I’m just not nearly as interested in Action comics as I am Superman. I can be easily persuaded, I want to like Superman, I just am not certain if this is going to be what I want out of the character. I didn’t even notice the costume change. No underpants on the outside is just unAmerican.

Wait and see, but ultimately pass on this.

Supergirl

I think she is wearing too many clothes. I think a bikini is the most appropriate super hero outfit for female characters. Give me a break. Where’s Jamal Igle when you need him? Oh, that’s right. He’s nowhere near any of  this. Way to go DC. Remember when all the man babies whined about Jamal changing Supergirl’s skirt to a skort? That was depressing. This outfit is more so.

Not touching this book either.

Superboy

Superboy check list for a good book.

Bad Haircut [ ]

Sweet Glasses [ ]

Team Jacket [ ]

Badder Than You attitude [ ]

Looks like I have no checkmars here. Bummer. I’ll pass on this. I swear I’ll say some really nasty things about this book if I have to deal with the “I’m  the son of superman and lex luthor thing” any more. That story line is about as played out as it gets int he DCU.

 

Wasn’t that exciting? Now you now a pinch about what I think about each individual title in the DC relaunch, and I’ve played right into DC’s hands marketing for them. Good thing no one reads this, cause then I would actually be marketing instead of typing at the w ind. Maybe the next thing I’ll write is my overall impression of what DC is doing coming up in September. Maybe I’ll even do it with a minimum of cursing.

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DC’s Action Force: American Defense

I heard DC was bringing back war comics but updating them for today and tomorrow and all I could do was sigh. Modern War fiction often bores me, and some of it is just offensive. Not to the soldiers or the ideas of the military or any of that, but just to the intelligence of the audience. Nothing says real life military experience like one dude going into a hostile enviroment and single handedly taking out an entire terrorist outpost. Furthermore nothing says real life like regenerating health. Let’s you really get into the boots of soldiers who, once shot a few times, just chill out near a wall for a minute before going right back to what they were doing.

PSA time. War is serious shit. Everyone knows this. No one is going to read Sgt. Rock and think this actually is how war is. I’m not that dude.  I want my DC war books to either be Unknown Soldier or Unknown Soldier. I feel like writers of war comics often have a loose focus. I’m not saying the tone of a book can’t change, I just am afraid of the books not being sure of what they want to be. If you’re going to be a serious look at war, the perils of war, all the greys of war, and the direct impact of war on the soldiers and those around them then do that. Whether you do it well or not isn’t as important as you know that’s what you’re doing. If you are going to be a celebration of military super heroics do that, and do it well. Whatever your focus is, don’t lose it. No one is going to join a mercenary crew after reading BlackHawks, but this may be someone’s first or only exposure to those ideas. You ideas will be their ideas. Don’t mud up your message whatever it is.

 

BlackHawks

Just read above. I’m super worried about how this title is going to turn out. It sounds positively G.I. Joe. Kill the bad guys before they kill us? If the book is going to be super black and white I hope it is that. If this is going to be a super violent update to G.I. Joe then let it be that and don’t flinch.

No Thanks.

Sgt. Rock and the Men of War

See above again. This one is even trickier to me. I can see this going sooo sooo bad.  I just have no idea if they know what they’re doing. I hope it’s good, but I’m just not holding out any hope.

No thanks.

StormWatch

Uh oh. This could be dangerous too. Lot’s of fans to make angry. So the Wildstorm people must be sweating bullets over what DC plans to do with Midnighter and Apollo. DC guys must be wondering what Martian Manhunter is doing with Stormwatch. I think it’ll turn out better than Captain Atom: Armageddon. My personal plea is that at some point in time Engineer and Doctor are brought into it and don’t suck.

I’m not gonna buy it, but I’ll flip through it to see if DC is able to make this merger work.

All Star Western

Jonah Hex is one of DC’s best books. With one major exception that I can think of, for the past seventy issues or so you can pick up each issue and walk away with an entire story. If I ever had an extra $3 I snatched one up. Gray and Palmiotti are fantastic writing team. I wonder since this book is no longer theirs if we’ll see Bat-Lash, The Trigger Twins, Vigilante, Nighthawk, and other characters of that ilk. I also wonder if They’ll bring back all the amazingly racist Characters like Tomahawk, Pow Wow Smith, and Scalphunter.

I’ll give this one a pass over as well. Hope to hear good things about it.

Deathstroke

This costume needs more sharp angles. No, really. More of those please.

Until I finish his old series I’m not buying another book with Deathstroke on the title.

Grifter

A lot of people talk about how good the Grifter character is. I’ll take their word for it. I did see the movie “Grifters” with John Cusak and I didn’t hate it. I have a feeling this will be nothing like that. Bummer.

If this gets great reviews I’ll flip through it. Not imagining this is a title that’ll change my life.

OMAC

Love OMAC. Great character design. One of the best designs in all of the DCU. That said. I’ve read issues of Dan Didio’s outsiders. Bugger that noise.

Unless King of the Douche’s John Byrne comes back to write it I think I’ll pass. Or if they bring in that dude from “Jersey Gods” to draw it.

Suicide Squad

That  Harley outfit is absolutely disgusting. Nothing can get me to read this book.

Blue Beetle

I hope half of this book is in Spanish. I hope all of his insane friends are there. I hope they don’t ignore the fact that this kid is Mexican-American and deal with all the problems that come with that. I want a good laugh out loud moment at least once an issue, if not twice.  This book won’t last long, so since it’s going to go out, I hope it goes out with style.

 

Go Go kids with powers June 18, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Micah Griffin @ 12:10

By kids we do mean white kids. Cause, c’mon. Young Chinese kids just do math. Young black kids are too busy doing drugs and shooting each other. Young natives are learning to get drunk on their reservations. I’ve forgotten all the other kids that could possibly put on super costumes.

Legion Lost

Woah LOOK! A visibly dark person in the Legion! Diversity has come indeed! Not only this, but he is in the foreground. Tres Intersant. I wonder how long before they kill him off. I wonder if he comes from an invisible magic land.

Nada.

Legion of Super Heroes

Is this the story of how all the black people on earth were killed before we got to the 31st century? No? Fuck Legion.

Guess.

Teen Titans #1

Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. So we have Time Drake as Talon (they can call him red robin all they like, look at that costume), Kon-El as 2001 hot topic superboy, and Cass as Catwoman jr. Do what now? Man, I love these costumes. I wish they were called X-Treme Teen Titans. There’s two vague characters that don’t get billing int he solicits and I have no idea who they could possibly be. Maybe terra and witchblade jr?

I’m not buying this.

Hawk and Dove

I’m torn on this one. I have no love for Hawk and Dove. The odd couple of dude who wants to rip people’s heads off and young girl who is tame and tries to tame the wild beast man doesn’t do anything for me. That said, Rob Liefeld is one of the nicest guys you’ll ever meet and I kind of want to support whatever he does whether I like it or not.

Static Shock

I love static. He’s my favorite super hero. I own all his books. I thought Felicia Henderson did an awful job writing him in teen titans after the milestone merger. I do love John Rozum. He wrote the original Xombi series and the new Xombi series. He also wrote a couple issues of Scooby-Doo that I like, and did the Secret Saturday’s comic in the Cartoon Network Action Pack book.

I’m definitely getting this book.

 

Next Post. G.I.Joe!

 

DC’s Stange Tales

Filed under: comics — Micah Griffin @ 10:10

No need to complain about lack of diversity amongst these titles. We all know that the only black people magic is witch doctoring and voodoo.

 

Justice League Dark

So what I’m gathering this is really just Shadowpact 2.0 with some more well known characters. At least DC realizes that people don’t read magic books so they’re popping Justice League on the title.

I’m going to pass on this.

Demon Knights

I really like Paul Cornell. I really like Etrigan, even when he doesn’t rhyme. This could be a great book. All the more reason for me to pass on it. Camelot is nifty and all, but I’ve read Bernard Cornwell’s “The Winter King” and that’s about as good as a blood soaked Camelot gets. Not that this couldn’t be a different kind of good. I just am in a place where I’m a bit tired of the super heroes ripping people’s head off thing.

No thanks

Frankenstein: Agent of S.H.A.D.E.

DC’s Frankenstein is cool. I first found him in Seven Soldiers and it was AWESOME. He’s shown up here and there int he DCU and generally been awesome.  Jeff bemire is positively weird, and that fits in with Frankenstein for me.

I’ll catch a trade of this one.

Resurrection man

I am what’s wrong with comics. I have no idea what resurrection man is, and as such I’m not spending $3 on it. It’s that simple. Instead what I’m doing is trying to find back issues on the cheap. Maybe this will be super awesome and I’ll catch it in the $5 trade bin at a con.

I,Vampire

Nope. Don’t do comic book vampires without Blade.

Voodoo

I think this is a Wildstorm character? Maybe? I don’t know. I do know that the solicit totally sounds like it wants to be a book of intrigue. In this day and age that means wait for the trade. Then wait for another trade. Then wait for the third trade. Then finally go to the library and take out the first four trades and hope the book actually answers a question by then. (here’s looking at you General Ross).

Next Post! TEAM KIDS!


 

Batman Part 2! Holy Bad Marketing Batman! June 17, 2011

Batgirl

I think DC’s marketing of this has been absolutely deplorable. Really tasteless. They do this thing where they announce Barbara Gordon is coming out of the wheelchair to be Batgirl again. They don’t give any more information than that. Then when fans who are attached to her as a character and the fans who look up to her as a symbol that people in wheel chairs can be important too get upset they brush off the responses. Then in the first issue when we learn she’s wearing some super suit and is still in the wheelchair otherwise DC will say “look all you stupid people who complained” all while getting more attention. Does it make sense marketing wise? Yes. That doesn’t stop it from being really disingenuous and cold hearted. The truth is they’re making her Batgirl to sell comics. Plain and simple. We know the big two aren’t into making social statements so they have no reason to care for the fans who want their icon. The move to make her Batgirl doesn’t offend me nearly as much as the way DC treated it. Further marginalizing an already marginalized people isn’t the most enduring thing of all time.
That said, if they undo “Killing Joke” I’ll be a little happier. I find that to be one of the most disgusting stories in DC history. We already know the Joker is a bad dude and that Commissioner Gordon is a good guy. That story had absolutely nothing to do with Barbara. She was just used as something to stuff into a refrigerator. It isn’t even like Sarah Essen in No Man’s Land. Joker had no idea she was Batgirl, he just knew her as Gordon’s daughter and abused her in an attempt to get at Jimmy G. I know people love that story, but I hate it. Love what writers did with Babs after it, hate that it happened the way it did in the first place.
Not buying this book on principle of bad marketing.

Batwoman
I AM buying this book on principle of JHWilliam III. I know he isn’t drawing it, but Amy Reeder is really good and I am sure he’ll have some input on layout. If this book can make it on time then I will be a very happy person. Well, if it is on time and good.
Nightwing
As I have mentioned before I do so thoroughly enjoy Dick Grayson as Batman. I thought Batman and Robin was the best book on shelves when Morrison was writing it. I have almost no experience with Dick as Nightwing outside of the One Year Later stuff. I hope this is good.
I will wait on good reviews and maybe look up the TPB. P.S.  Who the heck is Kyle Higgins?

Red Hood and the Outlaws
Read the title of this blog. Go ahead and scroll up and take  a look. I’ll wait.
Got it?
I’m so getting this book. Scott Lobdell has written a lot of books, of which I have read about two or three of. No idea if he’s any good or not. I do know that it doesn’t matter at first. I will definitely buy this trade because I love Jason Todd. It makes no sense. Almost everything Todd has done since coming back from the dead has been about loads of violence and blowing up stuff and death and all that, but I don’t care. Dude is cool, I want his book to be cool. He has guns and stuff and is hanging out with a two armed Arsenal and a silkieless Starfire. Let’s hope the silkie thing gets rectified. Screw that ugly looking Teen Titans book.

Batwing
*Breathe Micah*
Batman of Africa is terrible. Now, unfortunately I have had time to cool on this. I already wrote a blog post about how dumb this is. Now, this is another situation where DC is killing themselves in the marketing department. Winick has come out and made super capitulating clarifying statements, and to that I am grateful. Not everyone reads Newsarama or Comic Book Resources or whatever other comic book news and interview sites don’t hear that. They hear DC saying that this new Batwing dude is the Batwing of Africa. Like I said before, Africa is HUGE. It is a continent and not a country. It is not a city. Africa is a continent with 54 recognized states (mostly thanks to colonialism). There are so many more people groups in those countries. The world of Africa is so diverse. Yet we lump it together like it’s Gary, Indiana or something. It is frustrating and insulting.
After reading Judd Winick’s softball interview (‘so Judd, you’re really good. How really good is your book going to be?’)  I feel a little better about it and am going to give it a try.

That’s it for this stuff. I think the next post is on DC’s weird choice, which is fun.

 

BATMAN! Part Uno. June 16, 2011

I love Batman. If people asked me who my favorite comic book character was I’d probably say Static or Rocket, but after they say ‘who are they?’ and I explain for an hour or two and they asked for someone else I would probably say Batman. One of the sixteen hundred reasons I’m into super hero comics at all is because of Denny O’Neil’s novelization of Knightfall (if you are interested in a cool batman story but don’t want to buy the three trades and like your story more condensed give that book a try). Greg Rucka’s No Man’s Land novel was another big one for me. I’ve sense read both of those events in comic form and the novels are better. Anyway, Batman is super cool. Every TV show has been pretty dope in some form or another. The character has a life of his own in the fan fiction world where given three seconds of prep time he can beat Galactus with one hand tied behind his back in under a minute (including the prep time). It is pretty dope. Bladdy Bladdy Bla, Batman is cool. Even All-Star Batman is cool. My Favorite Batman story ever though is now Grant Morrison’s run from Batman to Final Crisis to Batman and Robin and finishing at Batman Inc. It’s one of the few things that makes me happy I bought floppy issues for so long. So for me, this reboot isn’t so bad. I feel like I have a complete Batman story that may be the best one ever all wrapped up nice and neat. I can come into this new thing completely fresh, and so I shall.

Detective Comics #1

Look at all that blood on those babies! I don’t hate Tony Daniel’s writing (battle for the cow not withstanding)[note: not a typo, it’s a funnier read that way] I just am not going to go out of my way to read it. The cover really doesn’t excite me at all. What would excite me is some Detective work on Batman’s part. Less blood and brains. We’ll see how this goes.

Batman

Scott Snyder has done some cool stuff, or at least that’s what I’ve been told. I’ve only read one issue of American Vampire and none of his other stuff. Here’s hoping it’s really good and he has a long time on the book and does good stuff.

I’ll wait and see on this one.

Batman The Dark Knight

David Finch writes and draws? Wait for the trade.

Batman and Robin

I’m very interested in the Bruce and Damien dynamic. I thought Damien worked so well with Dick Grayson as Batman and grew over time. I hope they don’t ignore all that happened in the past and stunt Damien’s Development.

I’m not going to be picking this one up either. I honestly think I am going to take a break on Batman until the first TPB of Batman Inc. comes out after it relaunches. I just think I’ve read as good a Bruce Wayne story as I’m going to read in a while so why spoil it?

Birds of Prey

I know everyone loved this book, I just rarely got into it. I read it for a while before it got cancelled once and enjoyed it a little. I have a trade or two from the series and it wasn’t bad. I liked the TV show. . . .

Yeah, I’ll see how this one fairs.

Catwoman

How do you sell a book with a female lead? Sex.

I’m not buying this one. Not on principle, I just don’t really care about Catwoman enough to read a solo book monthly anymore. I liked “When in Rome, but I read that ten years after it came out. I read her OYL title and liked it, too. I don’t have a great reason other than I don’t want to spend even $2 a month on it.

Apparently I am going to split this one into two posts as well. I have so much to say about Batgirl and Batwing that we’ll have to wait until the next post.

 

Green Lantern Revamp? June 15, 2011

There is a reason DC insists on calling this a revamp, not a relaunch or reboot. This is one of the main reasons. DC feels like if it ain’t broke don’t fix it. We can argue on whether or not it is broken, but it won’t do any good. From everything I can tell the Green Lantern universe is staying the same. Still rainbow corps are out there. Hal Jordan still in charge of everything. I still am not reading it. As long as the Geoff Johns is in control and the green lantern books are a series of ways to make John Stewart look dumb or keep him stunted in the background I am out. Just doesn’t do anything for me. I’m going to watch the Justice League cartoon again where John was a badass.

Green Lantern
Hooray books about Hal Jordan!

Green Lantern Corps
Guy and John lead? a strike force of green lanterns.

Green Lantern: The New Guardians
Kyle Rayner leads a multi colored group of guardians.

Red Lanterns:
Atrocitus pukes blood on stuff!

So. Hal is in charge. Kyle is in charge. Atrocitus is in charge. John shares duties with Guy (who is also in another book). I’m just sayin’.

Stay tuned later for The Batman