Hypocritical Hyperbole

The Abomination of Obama's Nation

On Cedric Benson: Racism still super dead. June 30, 2010

You’re reading the story wrong. That’s just all there is to it. I appreciate that you live in a world where the cops are all honest guys doing an honest days work to keep you safe, and that may actually be true where you are.  But that isn’t true here. There’s something you have to think about. There’s a world out there that you just simply don’t understand, and you never will. It’s not your fault, it’s just a part of life.

Whenever you see stories about how these athletes deal with the police one HUGE elephant lives in the room. We’re talking about young black men and police. That history isn’t so good. I’m not going to talk a lot about Cincinatti, but that city is known for it’s police killing a lot of black men. So the Bengal’s crime troubles run a lot deeper than a bunch of stupid niggers getting in trouble. That’s too easy, and it’s lazy.

So on to Ceddy B. That arrest where he was on the boat.  That’s bullshit and if you read any of the facts  you’ll know that straight away. What we have is a guy on a boat. The cops come and talk to him.  At least four of them walk him off around a corner so he’s removed from the sight of the people who were with them. All of a sudden he decides to attack the cops? You can’t believe that and have a brain. Naw. That was a case of a good old fashioned nigger beating. So much so, in fact, that one of the people on the boat called her father (who was a big time lawyer) to figure out how to get Cedric out of that situation. How many articles did you read pointing that out? Lazy ass journalists just giving you the easy story.

Now this most recent incident. The Austin police (who are notoriously racist. check the youtubes sometime) are called in on a bar fight. They wait OVER A MONTH to call up Cedric and have him fly back to Austin? How many bar fights are there every night? How many times have you ever heard of someone getting arrested months after it happened when no one was injured or killed? Never. Because it doesn’t happen. What we had was a bunch of white kids pickin on poor Cedric (facts, look at ’em) and when bad shit goes down the Austin cops waste over a month of tax payer dollars to investigate this. What do they find? That they need to call in Cedric Benson so they can arrest him long after the fact. Because during that time no other bar fights had occurred in that Small Texas college town. Give me a break.

Now I know that the race card makes people bristle. That’s because they don’t want to believe they live int he real world.  They live in a fantasy world where people don’t have biases and prejudices against other people. Sorry to break it to you, people suck. If you stop taking the easy way out and look at some of the situations that go on in this country you’ll see how royally jacked up it all is.

Racism exists.  Just because the cross burning thing has died down doesn’t mean those feelings and sentiments are gone. You think in the space of 50 years everything people believed has just up and gone away? No sir, it has just changed forms. Now they institutionalize it. The people who never ever have to deal with it love saying how my people only use it as an excuse just so you can make yourselves feel better about whatever issues you have going on in your life. That’s just more willful ignorance.


On Wonder Woman June 29, 2010

Let’s get this out of the way. Read the title of the blog. Got it? Good. Keep that in mind for the duration of this piece (and all pieces, but especially this one you think skinned, soft bellied humps).

I hate nerds. Yeah, I fall  into the nerd category in some ways, but I’m not one of THEM. You know who they are. You know exactly what they’re about. Killing comics. That’s for another day. Today is about Wonder Woman.

Have I read the issue #600? Nope (is that even out yet?), but that hasn’t stopped a lot of peoples opinions and it won’t stop mine. The costume is fine. Personally I enjoy costume changes. Especially  when they go from stupid to not as stupid.

Thanks IGN. Don't sue me

That’s the new one. I kinda dig it. Better that wretched monstrosity she had  before. Mainly for one reason.  This makes her less embarrassing an archetype. I get  all the explanations for what female super heroes where, I really do. Most of them  make as much sense as sticking all the future Negroes on a temporal island to explain why we aint in the future. Whatevs.

The truth of the matter is (and this problem belongs to more than just comics) some women just can’t take any of this with any remote level of seriousness because of the way they’re dressed. It’s a bunch of cheesecake and ridiculousness. Now, a few of those characters wouldn’t be awful, but it runs the same problem comics have with all their minority characters. When there are only a few of them it’s much easier to notice the flaws. Powergirl’s reasoning for that hole in her suit work much better when everyone isn’t exposing max cleavage. (This is where the haters come in with exceptions that prove the rule).

It’s  no secret that the only run on Wonder Woman I really loved was the Denny O’neil stuff. Yes, it was super cheesy and what not, but it was full of adventure and fun. A bonus was that at least 40% of her outfits made practical sense. The best one was the super all white suit.

Peep that sick suit on the right

Don’t be mad. You know it’s luxurious. But seriously, don’t be mad. We all know the change will last three to six issues and she’ll quickly revert to the tried and true outfit people love. Gotta show them booty shots.

Before you think I’m over exaggurating this here, let’s not be quick to forget the reaction to Jamal Igle putting a skort on super girl. Think that was purely about having things the way they were? Naw bruh. That change is all but imperceptible, except when the skirt blows up, which tends to happen when fighting intergalactic baddies. Why dudes mad? Cause they can’t see panties, which turns them on. That’s a huge part of this. The wonder woman costume turns dudes on, and they just can’t get that hard on the same way with her in Jeans. I wish they had gone all the way and  popped that girl in a t-shirt too,  just to make it worse on the fellas.

We are in the middle of setting things back to the way all the middle age white guys who read comics had it when they first started reading, so when something goes away form that they’re not going to like it anyway. As always, these issues aren’t just black and white, but you’re an absolute fool if you think losing the cheesecake isn’t part of the internet reaction to this stuff. The comic fanbase is small and getting smaller and that hardcore section likes what they like. What they definitely don’t like, is change. I do wonder how they would’ve felt if she went straight bikini though. I do bet you they could sell that shit on tv.


Racism is Soooooo dead: World Cup Ref edition.

Filed under: Sports — Micah Griffin @ 20:07
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

People love to get at the notion that racism doesn’t exist anymore and that nothing we do is motivated at all by it. Anyone who believes that stuff is just trying to be ignorant. So, here’s the newest bit of evidence in my corner. Been watching any of the soccer going on? If you have you’ll have heard about the Refereeing being bad. There’s  no doubt about that, it’s bad.  But I want you to go look at articles about the officiating and tell me what you notice. How many pictures of refs do you see? Yup.

There’s been no shortage of bad calls, and there seems to be the most focus on one ref in particular. Now, one reason is because his decision came against the US. I’m not minimizing this. Nothing here is black and white. What I’m saying is that people like Peter King went on a tirade about how awful it is that a referee from “a small African country” was even reffing the match. Okay. Seriously.  That’s not racially motivated? Why aren’t we mad that someone from a large European country or South American country royally botched the crap out of a call?

Of all these bad calls the one made by the nigger was actually one of the least offensive. It is absolutely undeniable that there was a foul on someone during that play. Nothing should’ve been called, but it’s much more forgivable than say, kicking KaKá out of the game for not touching anyone or that English goal not counting. For serious. How many pictures have you seen of the other refs. Here’s a Y! article about the refs. The article itself isn’t terribly offensive, but guess who’s photo headlines it. I never once on Yahoo saw a picture of the other refs when they blew calls. Or anywhere. They showed the African refs picture everywhere, right on the front of the sports section. His video was all over ESPN. I missed the English thing when it happened, when I found out afterwards I was just waiting for the outrage. People were upset, but where were the letter writing campaigns? Where was this notion that someone from where he was from had no business being in the tourney? It wasn’t there. Why? Cause we look at black Africans like they’re not as good as the rest of the world and clearly don’t belong on the same stage.


Adios NFL June 25, 2010

Filed under: Sports,Uncategorized — Micah Griffin @ 23:05
Tags: , , , , ,

I acknowledge this is easy to write now in the beginning of summer where the streets aren’t filled with hooligans doing the football stuff everywhere, but it’s on my mind now, so now I write it.

I think I’m done with the NFL, and it really has nothing to do with the product on the field. That stuff I’m actually pretty cool with. It’s by no means my favorite sport to watch, easily trailing Basketball and slightly behind hockey, but I like it. The problem is everything surrounding the league. There are tonnes and tonnes of issues that really aren’t ever looked at in depth. I’d love to do it now, but that would require lots of research and well over two thousand words. Instead, I’ll just run some stuff off the top of my head. I’m using Albert Haynesworth’s situation now to exemplify all the problems I have with the NFL.

The very first and most important part is how it’s covered. The way the media treats the NFL is ridiculous. I don’t understand how people can be so into it. That’s neither here nor there. The thing is how they cover the players. It’s just unconscionable.

The current news is that Albert Haynesworth doesn’t want to play for the redskins because they changed the terms he’d be working under. I don’t know how anyone finds this to be unreasonable. He was hired under the pretense that he’d be used in a certain position, he did that and was paid for it. Now they want to change his position to a more dangerous one and he wants no part of it.  If you at all keep up with sports  news you know that this is not how it’s being reported. Instead everyone is saying how this fat guy is getting paid so much money and should just shut up and go to work.

I’m glad none of them have ever had issues with their bosses. On a seperate note for a second, only in sports, and really only in sports where you see black people making F-350 super duty truck loads of money do you hear about common folks taking up for the ownership against the workforce. How cool would you be if your boss came in and told you that you’d have to work a position that’s going to put you in a lot more physical risk when you specifically said that as a condition of your hire that you wouldn’t do that.

I get that Albert never got it in writing, but when did it become okay for folks to  lie to you and then get defended for it? So you have all these writers writing about how awful it is that Albert isn’t showing up to these crappy summer “Organized Team Activities.” The report is that this fat millionaire isn’t showing up to an off season activity he really has no need to show up to. Did I mention how much money he makes? No, I didn’t, because that is not relevant information in any way. Know who makes fifty times more than he does? Dan Snyder the guy who owns the team and is in no way being held to the standards that the media is holding Haynesworth to.

The biggest problem with the media that covers the NFL is that they are employees of the NFL. The sport is so big that they take the stories the league gives them. The league serves up certain players or stories to reporters so they get blowed up real good. You may not remember, but last year Jay Cutler did the same thing Haynesworth did, but to a slightly different effect. Yes, he was was criticized a bit, but not with the vigor or passion we see now. The only differences are that Albert makes more money and is a fat black guy as opposed to super smart Jay Cutler that went to Vanderbilt and is white.

There’s a casts system with NFL people as well. If you didn’t play or coach in the league don’t even try to talk to someone who did. They go hard on this “You don’t know you didn’t play, stuff.” So when you watch T.V. what you get are a bunch of people who’s lives were significantly changed by this system and are going to do what they can to  tote company line. “Protect The Shield” is an actual thing with these guys. Ownership can’t do anything wrong on a serious level.

The next thing is stupid fans. With the sport being as popular as it is the number of casual fans that think they know anything about the sport is huge. The smaller the sport (in general) the more knowledgeable the fans are about it. Football fans actually don’t understand much of the sport, how it works, or how hard any of it is. They think they do, but they really don’t have a clue at all. What’s crazy is that the fans have also drunk the flavor-aid on the notion that if you didn’t coach in the league you can’t possibly tell them anything. Fans don’t have a clue what Jaws and Gruden are saying to each other during Monday Night Football games, but it sounds footbally so they’ll go for it. I can point out as well as they can that Jake DelHomme loves tossing balls way up in the sky and hoping his receivers catch it. What I don’t have is the years of football experience to say it in footbally terms.

What that does effectively is remove outside sources from the equation. If you come in to try and make a point about the league that just doesn’t make sense in reality they’ll be quick to get all over that “former general manager X said ‘this is just the way it goes’ so you can’t possibly be right.” The fans are also ridiculously arrogant, but the way I have to imagine baseball fans were back in the 60s and 70s. Easy to walk with that strut when your favorite sport is the most popular in the country and no one (seriously NO ONE) is even close to being in second.

One of the biggest reasons for that success is that the NFL has done just about everything in their power to CRUSH the personality of these players. No dancing, no celebrating, can’t say anything about anything (unless it helps the league that is). What?  Yeah, all the players making less than Haynseworth sippin on Jellycycles can hate like crazy, but let one of them criticize how the NFL runs game and watch that player get ostracized.

This is a sport where you can’t see the players while they’re on the field. They’re all covered head to toe. Shoes, socks (that have to be a certain height or you get fined), pads all over the shirt and pants, and that helmet that covers the face. As long as you look on the field you can forget that it’s a bunch of young black kids out there dancing for your entertainment. The second they do anything to remind you of that the league fines them, and if it’s enough the commissioner calls them into the principles office. I’ve said it before, but one of the reasons I LOVE basketball is because of how human that sport it. No sport more human, soccer is like a more boring European cousin. They can’t hid anything. Their tattoos, their facial expressions (except my boy perk who just doesn’t have the ability to smile), nothing. The body language is all out there for everyone to see. In football they all look exactly the same from the nosebleeds. Just a bunch of nameless faceless logos out there running around.

I have totally lost my train of thought, so I’ll come correct with part two tomorrow when I get back on track. I hope. Maybe not though. This could be it. So if it is, in conclusion. I’m just not going to be watching a lot of football next season (college or pro) and I needed something write about. I’m going to try this whole write every day thing out and see how that works.


Toy Story 3 June 20, 2010

A little more time has passed than I traditionally like for these instant reviews, but I’m still in the glow of what I have just witnessed. Well, to start off with, the intro short is one of the most ambitions creative things I’ve ever seen. Things a beast. There just isn’t anything more to say about it. It’s pretty difficult to describe it. Visually there’s a cartoon shape that is all traditional 2D, and inside where a solid color would be, is just transparency. As it moves the scenes inside it change. It soon meets another shape and they play off of each other. Know what? Just find it and watch it. Thing is balls out amazing.

So on to toy story. Wow.  There honestly isn’t much else to say. I was seriously blown away by it. When you have sequels to something it can go any number of ways. It seems that a lot of sequels end up going down a path that doesn’t allow it to measure up to previous ventures, and when you add a third movie (or more) to a franchise you quickly find yourself coming straight into contact with the law of diminishing returns. You have a good idea in movie 1. When movie 2 comes around that idea is no longer fresh, so even if the movie has the same amount of quality as the first one, you don’t feel as satisfied after watching it. You’ve seen all the ideas that world had to offer the first go round. Pixar has found a way to completely trash that idea with Toy Story 3. I came away feeling like this movie was better than the last two, and possibly by more than just a little bit.

Now, this wouldn’t be possible without Toy Story one and two. I have learned to love these characters over time. The first two movies being as good as they are meant that before this movie ever started I was happy to see them again. I expected just another good movie featuring Woody, Buzz and the crew and would’ve been perfectly content if that’s all I got. Five seconds into the thing I knew I was in for something special. I’m terrible at not spoiling things, so if you haven’t seen it get out now. The movie opens up in Andy’s imagination as he plays with his toys. We get to live out an absurd scenario with Woody and Jessie tracking down ruthless train robbers Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head. As the action progresses Evil Dr. Porkchop (played by the suave and dastardly Ham) shows up as well as Buzz and the barrel of monkeys. Trolls and ‘Pizza Planet’ Aliens.  It’s just a riot. I knew as soon as that scene ended that I really had absolutely no shot of getting through the movie without ending up in a heap of tears.  Fortunately for me and my dignity I was around other people that I knew and kept it together mostly from fear of never ending ridicule.

The bulk of the movie is about the notion of moving on from your childhood and leaving behind all that junk that use to fill your life. It’s about separation anxiety, and finding one’s purpose in life. it’s about what goes wrong  when you don’t have a serious coping mechanism to deal with grief. It’s about the kinds of messes you can get into when you jump to conclusions. I guess you could say it’s about what happens to a group of toys that are going to be left behind. They wound up in a situation that looked like the best thing that could possibly happen given their recent life changes, but upon further inspection it was a pit of despair. There’s a great deal in there about different kinds of leadership and about loyalty. The way Woody tries to build up and inspire the characters around him, and the way he holds to his beliefs is countered greatly by the way Lots-o-huggin Bear rules all around him with an iron fist.

I was a little taken aback by the darkness of the movie at parts. Not just an overt darkness, but a creepy tone I’m not sure Pixar has hit on before this. The brilliance of it is that Pixar couches all the stuff in the movie that could totally get you down with a well thought out sense of style and flare that never let the desperation become too much. I was watching it sandwich between a little girl that will be 5 in a few weeks and a slightly older girl that couldn’t be past the age of 8 or so. You could gage buy their reactions when the gripping darkness needed to be lifted, and right when those two girls were tensing up a break in the action would come. It wasn’t always by a gag either. Sometimes it would just be a turn of phrase to, if not change the mood, change the tone a bit.

I’m glad that every dark scene wasn’t accompanied by a huge slapstick joke. Toy Story already is that. While you’re watching the movie you get completely and totally absorbed in the world and at times you forget you’re dealing with a bunch of plastic and fluff that acts like plastic fluff would act physically. The way Rex bobbles about , the way barbie and ken walk, the way all the dolls sort of squish when they fall, the way the plastic characters sort of bounce when they hit stuff, it’s all a small reminder that even though this story is deadly serious to all the parties involved it’s still about a bunch of toys.

This movie really works on every level imaginable. Personally, I know I haven’t been this edge of my seat emotionally invested in a movie since. . .well I really can’t tell you the last time my heart was stuck in my gut for the ENTIRE duration of a movie. The whole thing. Part of that is something that may only be applicable to people in my general age range with a similar outlook on life. Toy Story happened when I was nine. NINE! I enjoyed it, but I’m not sure I fully understood why and how much yet. I just knew the toys were cool and that the movie was fun. All that stuff about how the cowboy died out with the astronaut becoming our national hero didn’t mean a thing to me. Then Toy Story 2 happens when I’m thirteen. It’s middle school and even though I was there the first weekend I could go see it, it wasn’t something I was able to really talk to my peers about because animated movies weren’t cool to boys just rollin through puberty. Not the kind of subject matter they were really into.

Then that was it. I got older, I went off to college, I left behind some toys, I brought some toys with me, I passed some toys to younger people, I gained (and continue to pick up) new toys. Move the clock to this morning, I’m 23 years old. It’s been just about ten years since the last Toy Story released. The movie follows along with that because everyone is older. I’ll take a break here and say it’s amazing how much I care about Andy’s mom and little sister from the combined total of fifteen minutes we’ve spent with those two over the course of three movies. Anywho, that’s where a lot of the magic comes in for me. On this first viewing I was taken back to a time when the first Toy Story was out and I still actively lived in that world where toys were a huge part of my life.  Where I beat mine to death and brought them back and played with them some more. Then at the very end of the movie it pounded home all the feelings I didn’t completely realize I had stored up from ten and fourteen years ago.

The final ten minutes of the movie were my undoing. No one dies, there’s no depressing sadness, only a fondness and happiness for life and childhood and imagination. To see what may be the final scenes for Andy along side Woody, Buzz, Rex, Ham, the potatoes, Jessie, Bullseye, the pizza planet aliens, and slinky was just a lot to handle. To see Andy’s mom deal with her son going off to college at the same time didn’t help at all. Then when the epilogue happens and we learn the true final fate for Andy’s box of toys and just how much happiness was there, I was so done. Really it was ten minutes of unadulterated joy.

I kept myself to only a few tears, which is more than I can say for most of the theaters. Here’s the crazy part, the tears were almost exclusively from the adults in the audience. I’m not exactly sure what made each of the people who were losing it lose it, but it seemed to be different for most people.  There were definitely people who recently sent their kids off to college dying in there. There were people like me who are just realizing how much better their lives were for having known these toys for so long. I heard someone say they were crying because they were remembering how much fun they use to have playing with toys and were reflecting on how little of their previous imagination remained.  To state all the reasons people left that theater bawling would give too much away.

It’s not often you see a movie and leave it feeling like the world is a little bit better for what you had just watched. That’s not to say other movies aren’t good. People know how much I love mindless stuff like Ninja Assassin. Taken is one of my favorite movies. Before Toy Story 3 my absolute favorite in theater experience was the 2007 Transformers midnight showing. The thing is, when I left the theater or took some movies out of my dvd player or what have you, that was it. I may have thought about some movies more than others. I have debated what really happened in Pan’s Labyrinth. I have spent time in thought about Moon or Aimee. The difference here is, I left toy story 3 being genuinely happy that movie exists. I cannot wait to tell others about it and to show it to them, knowing good and well the effect it had on me is entirely different that the one it will have on them, but it’ll be an effect none the less.  It’ll bring up some piece of emotion in them whether they know it or not. This is the kind of movie I end up writing hand written letters to the creators thanking them for what they’ve given me.

P.S. mad props to Lee Unkrich who directed this movie. Really smart job of doing smart stuff to make the movie fit. It would’ve been easy to try and blow the cast up and try to balance fifty toys and make the movie bigger than the last one, but going smaller really just made the tear jerker ending all the more special. And El Buzz may be the best movie character of all time. (There’s a hyperbolic statement for ya.)